All Kinds of Jazzy Shit!

Eyes wide open.

All will be better tomorrow.
Murakami's Kafka On the Shore on Title

Qrion's Only
365 days ago, I decided to write here to release some pressure.

And right now, there's a lot of pressure.

And I haven't been writing.


I think, repeat, and say over and over. This is what you want, you are where you want. I'm frustrated.

Am I doing alright? Am I where I am supposed to be? I can't help but look at the past and see the changes that has happened over time. Was I in a better place before? How did I get here?

I think, repeat, and say over and over.

I can't look away. Whatever failures I have had in the past, whoever I was and whoever I was with in the past, wherever I was in the past, I am and will continue the living portrait of my mistakes, my memories and my mishaps. There's that fear, a dark cloud enshrouding me, reminding me of my conscious and unconscious decisions. The anxiety that sends shivers up and down my spine. It's difficult to ignore. I could be doing something now that will rob me of things that belong to my own and other people's future. The choices I make today can take away things that matter the most.

Regret, it's what I swallow everyday. It comes with that bitter taste like bile coming up from what had been forcefully fed to your soul. It's there to tell you that there had been a mistake, a miscalculation, an over and undervalue of what have could been and what has had been.


SirensCeol's Lost In Time


It's ironic how whenever I feel like this, when I am in doubt and distress of the choices I had made or have to make, I look at the night sky where the stars are. The very physical and grand manifestations of the past existing in the future. The very reminders that a light shined from an entity that has probably died millions of years ago is still there to comfort me and tell me to be and remain hopeful for a good future. And I want to be a part of that future. There has to be a way to  get there and do things right.

There has to be a way to do things right. There needs to be a way to do things right. I just need to find it. I just need to see it. I just need to see and experience more.

Fears, insecurities, doubts - I know the remedy is in me and I am still on the search.

I might be or might not be where I am supposed to be but I believe everything, all of this, will align soon. For me, for now, I just have to do and see and do.


"Let us agree to disagree, what does it matter who is past or future, if we are both alive, for what follows will follow, tomorrow or in ten thousand years." The Martian Chronicles, Ray Bradbury


I think, repeat, and say over and over. I just have to do and see and do.
I think, repeat, and say over and over. I want to be a part of that future.
I think, repeat, and say over and over. I just have to do and see and do.


Beshken's Right Time

Happy three-hundred and sixty five.