There are times when you are up all night working/slacking because you can't sleep. When insomnia strikes you at the wrong hour, at the wrong day, you're left with nothing but a wandering mind and tired still open eyes.
Darn it.
And your brain keeps running, keeping you from sleeping. Making a fuss about those little creaks and noises out your window. Keeping you creative with your imagination until that thought strikes. That thought when you are compelled to think about your life and what you are doing and the purpose why you are still on earth. You try to think of other more trivial things like flowers and unicorns but you can't escape. Anything you think of just points back to these weird-ass crazy life philosophical questions. You want to stop but you're left there all night, eyes wide open, sleep deprived, worrying about your life.
It sucks.
It sucks.
So yesterday, I was up all night, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, conjuring up why I lack success drive in life. I need a motivation to move forward. I want to have a motivation that's immaterial but I just kept thinking about things like new shoes, new house, new car, new country. I want a motivation that relates to my future and other people but can't even motivate myself to work hard for other people.
So a few hours later, I gave up on trying to sleep and on that future-life idea and listened to Cherub's music. Have a great time listening to them. And sleep well too.
